He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
