I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
