The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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