I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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