The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
