i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
jump out the window naked night went bad
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