So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
