He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
