her vagine was all disorganized.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
