quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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