those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize