its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
