Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
