Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
