I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
