They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
