I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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