can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize