Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
