the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
