Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
