Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
