butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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