just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
