Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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