Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
