dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
