If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
