I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
