haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
