I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
