you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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