My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
