Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
