New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
