so explain again why im purple
no
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
