wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
