this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Sober January is a disaster.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
