Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
