Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
