you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
