I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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