some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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