is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
