How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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