Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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