Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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