dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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