Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize