we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
