Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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