there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
