OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I cannot find my penis.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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