that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize