How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
