turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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