There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
