so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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