we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
