im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
