sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
