Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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