he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
