addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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