The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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